Introduction
As you all know that there are a lot of Chinese restaurants in the western countries
which serve the buffet. But in some of the metropolitan areas, there are quite a number of restaurants that serve real Chinese
food. And those are the places where you will see a lot of Chinese. Or if you have any Chinese friends or relatives, they
would love to come here to have a meal.No matter what, if you happen to have a meal with the Chinese, I am sure that you want
to act right so that no one will get into any embarrassment.
If you are doing or going to do business with China,
you MUST read this. Your success of doing business in China will be determined by your performance of knowing Chinese eating
culture. Since a lot of Asian countries were influenced by the Chinese culture, this rule also applies to most other Asian
countries.
Top Seating
When you step into the restaurant, always let the others to take the seat first. Let the elderly,
the senior and the most respective people to sit as far away from the aisles, except under their special request. And you
will take the last seat left.
Top Before Placing Order
Chinese always like to have a few dishes for a meal. Say like there are 3 people
together, they may order 3-4 different entrees. The more people having the meal together, the more dishes they are going to
order.
So, always ask the others, especially the elderly, the senior and the most respective people what they
want before suggesting ideas or even making decisions. And most of the times that they like to have the dishes which they
seldom cook at home by themselves.
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Pouring Tea
While everyone is looking at the menu, the waiter/waitress will come over to ask what kind
of tea you want.
In the Chinese restaurant, they will only serve 2 kinds of tea upon your request the most. Some
of them will bring an extra pot of hot water over which will save the waiter/waitress come over so often to add hot water
in the tea pots. So, if there are 12 people on the same table, they won’t serve 12 different kinds of tea, but just
2.
As I always say, ask the elderly, the senior and the most respective people what kind of tea they want. Here
are the most common kinds of tea the restaurants serve, i.e. Jasmine, Po Er, Oo Long Shou Mei, Heung Pin & Chrysanthemum.
Jasmines, Po Er & Heung Pin are the most popular ones among them.
After the pots are brought over to the table,
take the initiative to pour everyone a cup of tea starting from the elderly, the senior and the most respective people to
the junior in descending order. Who pours the tea for everyone; always pour himself/herself the tea the last. And make sure
not to take the tea pot too high in the air while pouring and splash all the moisture everywhere.
If it happens that
someone is pouring you tea, bend down your fingers and use the head of your third finger tapping the table lightly a couple
of times and say “Thank You”.
You may be asking the question, “Why is there such a kind of gesture
to saying ‘Thank You’?”
There was a story about an emperor hundreds of years ago. He stepped
out of the palace and wanted to check the people of his empire. Since he was under cover at that period of time, no one knew
that. His ambassadors were not supposed to say a word to reveal the emperor’s identity.
During the trip,
they went into a restaurant to have meal. The emperor took the initiative to pour the tea to everyone. Supposingly, the ambassadors
should have knelt on his knees and bow to the emperor to say “Thank You”. But they were not allowed to do so under
that situation. Then, one of them was smart enough to use this method instead of kneeling down. Interesting, huh?
Last but not least, the Chinese will only order wine or soft drink during the special occasions, such as the wedding dinner,
birthday dinner or company annual dinner. Don’t initiate to order other kinds of drink, except they ask you if you want
some special request. Even though, try your best to stick with the tea.
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This kind of tea set usually serves, what the
Chinese call, "Kung Fu" Tea |
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| Remember when someone is pouring tea |
into your cup, tapping your finger several times
to say "Thank You" |
Ordering
There are not a lot of things to worry about in ordering, except the number of dishes.
In the Chinese society, there are many things related to the ghosts and ancestors that use the number 7.
Since I don’t want to make you depressed, I’m not going into details in this. Just to make sure that you will
not order 7 dishes. If this happens, either get rid of one dish or add an appetizer or dessert.
There is also
exception. Like some of my friends do not mind that. So, it depends on what kind and what age of people you are having meal
with.
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Utensils UsageI believe that a lot of you know the Chinese use chopsticks. Other than that they use,
spoons made of china, which are very different from the kind you use every day, and bowls. The Chinese don’t
like making any noise out of these utensils or eating. Some kids would like to use the chopsticks and hit the other utensils
just make it like playing drums or other kinds of musical instrument. That’s a No, No….. Like when
you try to use the spoon to get some food out of the plate, the food sticks so bad. NEVER, EVER hit the spoon against another
utensil in order to get the food. Everybody in the restaurant will turn around looking at you. You don’t want to get
into such kind of embarrassment, do you? There is a special way for holding chopsticks. They must be used in a pair.
If you don’t know how to use them, don’t use them separately. Just ask the waiter/waitress to give you a fork
and a knife. Your Chinese friends and relatives will totally understand. Other than chopsticks, we use bowls for
eating rice, plates for serving food, little sauce dishes for sauces and dips and little tea cups for tea. The
way how to hold these utensils is also very important. Remember, never leave the bowl or tea cup on the table and bow down
your head to eat or drink from it. ALWAYS pick it up. Don’t use the palm to hold the bottom part of any one of them
either. Use the fingers to hold it. A lot of people make a mistake in holding a bowl. The correct way is to put your front
part of the thumb on the edge of the bowl and leave the other 4 fingers to hold the bottom. I know you are going to
ask me another question, “Why don’t the Chinese like using the palm to hold the bowl or other containers?”To
them, only beggars would do so.
In the very old Chinese world, the Chinese used a cup set which
was totally different from the one of nowadays. The cup set has a dish, which only fits for that particular kind of tea cup,
and a tea cup with a lid.
How did they serve the tea with this cup set? First of all, the cup set will be brought
over to an individual. A reasonable amount of tea leaves will be put inside the cup and add a cupful of boiling water in.
Cover the lid and leave it for a minute or 2. Before you drink from it, use the lid to push away the floating leaves. Leave
a little hole between the cup and the lid and drink from it.
Some people pour the tea out of that little hole
to another cup so that they can drink from that other cup instead of the one with leaves inside.
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This is the best way to serve tea. Unfortunately, the cost of serving tea in this way is too expensive. No restaurant over
here would do so. Even in China, you would rarely see it. I remembered that we went to a restaurant serving tea like this
when I was around 10. My father loved that place and we went there every weekend. But there are some organizations in China
would do so. There are groups of people love tea so much. They join together to form an organization which they have regular
meetings. When they come together, they drink tea, share their experiences and opinions of tea.
I know, I know….Another
question, huh? “Why is it so costly to serve tea to the customers in this way?”
Let me explain
it further.
The cheapest cup set I ever saw is $10/set white in color and made of china without any designs, drawings
or patterns on it. This is the price that I saw last year when I was in Hong Kong. Say if you step into a restaurant with
a table of 12, they got to have 12 sets ready for you. Different people can pick whatever kind of tea leaves they like. The
waiter/waitress must come over to help you to add tea leaves and water regularly. Instead of cleaning 2 pieces of a set, they
need to clean 3 pieces of a set. If a restaurant has a full house of 50 people (mostly more than that), how much more they
need to pay for?
But there is still this kind of cup set selling out in the market. If you are interested, you
can check it out.
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Serving Food
All Chinese restaurants serve the dishes one by one instead of coming all in one shot like
any western restaurants that you go to.
And when they are brought over to the table, they will not be put in front
of an individual, but in the middle of the table.
Remember, even you see your most favorite dish coming, don’t
make it purposefully to be put right in front of you. Chinese will only put a particular dish or the best one in their opinion
in front of a person that they know he/she loves that food.
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Eating
Chinese always wait for everybody ready before they start eating.
The westerners
always pass the dishes around the table when the meal starts. But the Chinese NEVER.
What the Chinese do is to
pick a piece or a portion from the dish of food whenever they want. NEVER get the food from every single dish once the meal
starts. Get a reasonable portion when you are done with one kind. Except some special occasions, such as wedding dinner, Chinese
always order the steamed white rice to go with the dishes. Some of them will order a bowl of plain congee. NEVER eat the dishes
of food without rice or congee.
Traditional Chinese taught their children to get the food from the plates which
are the nearest to them.
But now the society is more advance. If you step into the Chinese restaurants with 8
people or more, they will lead you to a table with the turning platform which makes it easy for everybody to get what they
want.
If the plates of food are being served on that platform, make sure when someone is taking the food out of
the plate, let them finish doing so before turning it.
One more thing, when you use your chopsticks or an extra
pair provided by the restaurant for everybody to use, NEVER, EVER use them to turn the food over and look for your favorite
part/portion of that particular plate. Pick the one which you see right away.
Fish are the most popular dishes
that the Chinese families order. It means luck. Plus, it is seafood which the Chinese treat as a kind of precious food. When
it is served, it always comes as a whole with bones, head, tail and skin. Some restaurants will help customers to cut them
into a few big pieces right in front of the customers. But by the time when half of the fish is gone, everybody still has
the trouble to get the meat on the other side. NEVER, EVER flip the fish over. Use the chopsticks and try your best to get
the meat between bones.
Let us take this same example, a plate of steamed fish, to tell you another important
thing.
A lot of Chinese love the soy sauce in the plate of fish. And I can swear to you. This kind of soy sauce
tastes much different from the soy sauce that you always have. It is AWESOME. So, many of Chinese, including my family, love
to mix the sauce with the steamed rice. In this case, this is fine. But do pay attention that you still eat other food from
other dishes instead of just finishing up the rice mixture. Otherwise, you are telling the Chinese indirectly that you don’t
like the food that they ordered.
As I mentioned before, the Chinese don’t like making noise out of the utensils.
So the same when they eat. Say like having soup, the Chinese don’t expect any noise while everybody is drinking soup.
Even when you are chewing a piece of meat, no noise is allowed.
In my family, it always happens to have 10-12
people sitting together on the same table having the meal in the restaurant. If the table is slightly smaller than usual,
it should still be fine before the food is served. But then, when the meal starts and everybody is moving around, you may
start feeling that there is not enough room for everyone, especially there is a spot saved for the waiter/waitress standing
near the table and serving you guys. No matter what, remember that you come to have fun and nice time with everyone. Try your
best not to stretch your arms too far. Occupy a space as small as you can so that you can allow more space for people on your
both sides.
Chinese have a special way to show their care, love and respect during the meal. Like every time when
I go to visit my uncle in Rochester, he always like to pick some food and put into my bowl even I have been eating so much
already. They do so because they want to show that they do care and respect you even they don’t know if you like that
kind of food or already full or not. Try your best to finish it up as much as you can. Otherwise, they will take it as an
offense.
Moreover, when people put the food into your bowl, most of the time, they pick the best for you. Here
are some examples to tell you what part of the plate is the best in the eyes of Chinese:
- Chicken, duck or other
poultry: thigh, dark meat, parts with less fat and bones (but not breast) and well-cooked parts
- Pork, beef or other
similar kind: a big piece of meat with less fat or bones
- Fish & sea foods: For fish, the cheek of the fish head,
a big piece of meat with fewer bones or boneless. For sea foods, a big piece of meat with less shell
- Veggies (most
of the time assorted vegetables): a piece of every kind. If there is only one kind, just a piece will be enough.
- Noodles/Fried
Rice: Help people to fill up a little bowl. (Remember, if there are many people on the same table and the plate of noodles
or fried rice is not much; just put the reasonable amount into the bowl. Or it will cause the others being upset or jealousy.)
- Soup
and dessert: Restaurants always serve with these 2 in a big bowl. Either waiter/waitress or customers themselves will put
into the little bowls to serve everybody. When someone is done for the first round, ask him/her if he/she wants some more.
If yes, help them to get some.
There will be the chance that the customers need to help themselves in dividing up
the soup, noodles, fried rice or dessert. If this happens, as always, serve the elderly, the senior and the most respective
people first.
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Words Allowed & Prohibited
You may be surprised that Chinese even pay attention of what should and
should not say during the meal, huh? Actually, they just want to show the courtesy and respect to the others. And it is not
difficult to learn. All you need to remember that Chinese and other Asians do not like to act, say or put up their emotions
directly on their faces.
Before ordering, as I mentioned before, you need to ask everyone what they would like.
And you may be asked the same question as well. If this happens, don’t say that you hate or don’t like certain
kinds of food, except you are physically allergic to it. It is because this will make people think that you are so selfish
that there may be someone on the table would like to have some. And they are not ordering the food just for an individual,
but everyone.
When the first plate of food came, they would say, “Hei Fai” which means “Pick
up your chopsticks”. In essence, it means “Let’s start”.
During the meal, when you find
the food is not as good as you think, do not say anything that you don’t like it. In the rare case, the food has been
ruined. Then, there will be someone else saying something, not only you.
By the time you are done, never say,
“Oh! I’m full”. To the Chinese, you are affecting others appetite. Instead of saying that, just nicely tell
those who are still eating, “Men men sik”. It means, “Eat slowly”, i.e. “Enjoy your meal”.
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End of Meal
Remember that I said earlier that you have to eat the food together with the rice or congee.
If you are done with your bowl of rice or congee, you will do either one of the followings:
- If someone on the
same table with you and ask if you want to have some more rice/congee, which the Chinese always do, you can go ahead to place
another order. Or else, don’t take any initiative to do so.
- If you are half way full and someone ask you if
you want to have some more, you can ask people on the same table and see if they mind to split that bowl of rice or congee
with you. If they don’t, go ahead ordering.
- If you don’t want any more rice or congee, but some more food
in front of you. And at the same time, at least 1 person or more is still eating. You better stop and wait till everybody
has stopped. Then, you can pick up your chopsticks and eat again.
- For ladies, do not put on any lipsticks even you
are completely done. The Chinese will think that you are in a hurry to leave.
- NEVER, EVER leave in the middle or before
everybody is done for the meal. The Chinese will wonder why you came here if you are in a hurry to leave. Some of them will
never ask you to join them for meal next time anymore.
In my family, my mother is always the one making sure that
we finish the very last piece of food on the plates. Because to her, there are a lot of people out there in another part of
the world suffering hunger.
But some families like to leave some on a plate without packing back home. To them,
this means a kind of luck.
So, all you can do is to follow what your Chinese friends or relatives do.
When it comes to paying bill, Chinese seldom split the amount among everybody. Most of the time, someone has already said
that he/she is going to buy the meal for everybody before going to the restaurant. But like my family, we dine out every week.
So, we take turn to pay the bill.
And be prepared to see this happens always in the Chinese restaurant…..The
Chinese fight for paying the bill. They are not mad at each other. But they just want to be nice and show their respect to
buy the meal for everyone.
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I know it’s a long trip for you to go through all of these “rules”, huh? But acting right
will make everybody happy. One of the most important thing is that they will be very impressed of your performance and respect
to their culture and customs. They will respect and love you more. Believe me!Since some of the Chinese have been influenced
by the western culture, you may see, like some of them using plate to eat instead of bowl. For instance, one of my uncles’family,
they started using plates after coming back from Canada.
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